The Code Of Silence

The silence surrounding the state of being of President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua is deafening.

Nobody seems to know exactly what is happening with/to him right now.

Well, they know but nobody wants to get the 'Baba Gana Kingibe' Treatment.

Remember the former Secretary to the Government of the Federation and the circumstance of his sack? He had announced the demise of his principal, only for the man to miraculously wake up a few hours later (after some serious prayers) and sack him - some say with the promptings of the First lady. Understandably.

So here we are again at the same pass. And yet again, we expect a miracle.

But this time, there is a code of silence in force. From the VP, to the Ministers, to the cleaners in Aso rock, the answer to every question is: Let us pray for the President to recover quickly.

Let us believe the best.

Nigeria: Rebuild Not Rebrand

Deoluakinyemi wrote that he wanted me to 'pirate' what he wrote, so I did.

What I want to write today is an article I will love you to pirate. I’ll like you to dub it, and put it on your blog post. Modify it if you like, give me credit if you want, or give me none at all. They say we’ll achieve a lot more if we don’t care who gets the credit.

I have refrained deliberately for a long time to make any comments about our National Re-branding exercise. I hope I will be able to say what boils in my throat and wrists tonight, without making too much reference to it. For all it’s worth though,... the fundamental error I can see is that Nigerians have not been allowed to own it, and hence rather than having people championing it, and helping others buy in, what we have is criticism and condemnation by the same people ....

Having said that however, I have a proposition of an exercise that we can own as Nigerians. It’s a simple idea and it came as a fallout of a discussion that ensued in my office yesterday. It’s an answer of what we can do to focus our leaders on the problems that we have ... and to assist them in giving it the attention it deserves. We no longer need any assistance from any source to know that our most crucial problem in Nigeria is Leadership! If we are all on the same page in this realization, then our efforts towards a better Nigeria must be channeled to support, focus and direct our leaders.

I remember shortly before the elections last year I wrote an article I titled, “Power is all we need!” I pleaded with our would be leaders not to promise us roads or education, but to promise us just one thing - Power! That if in any leaders 4yrs we can celebrate 1yr of uninterrupted power supply, then we should immortalize that president. Haven been to Egypt now to watch tombs, I say we must do the same, but before they die however.

First for the nation, then the states, then our local governments. Once we have a new president for example, we should as a nation analyze our most significant problem that we want solved in his or her tenure. After we have agreed on this problem, we should then go ahead and give that problem the same name with our president. We should substitute the name of our leader with this problem in our conversations, in our articles in newspapers, in our slang’s, in our music and drama. We should do this per state and per local government as well.

Let’s say for example that we have discovered that our biggest problem in Nigeria is Electricity, and for example that our president’s name for the tenure was Yaradua. Then every time power goes, every time we are in darkness, every time we have any issues, our conversations should be like this.

When it is bad as it is - “Chei, Yaradua has gone again”,
“Ah, we have not had Yaradua for the last 2 days”,
“This Yaradua is so unstable”,
“Ah what did we do today oh, we have half Yaradua today”,
” What’s wrong with you, you are complaining that you haven’t seen Yaradua for 3 days, what about people that haven’t seen Yaradua for one year! or ever!”,
“I wasn’t able to do it overnight, because Yaradua kept fainting”,
“We have been using Yaradua as backup to our Generator”,
“Iron your shirts, Yaradua may soon go oh”, ”

When this start becoming good - ” Up Yaradua!”,
“Yaradua is really trying oh, we are not where we want to be, but we are far from where we were”,
“Yaradua has been consistent for the past 24hrs”,
“Ah, we need to celebrate 1yr of uninterrupted Yaradua”,
“Yaradua is so much better these days”,
“With Yaradua so constant, Nigeria is really becoming the most desirable nation to live in on earth”.
“Yaradua is constant in all the states of Nigeria and the structures are in place to get Yaradua into all the local governments.”

Can you form your own new ones?

If we keep speaking this way, our leaders will know that we mean business with our desire for solutions. The next president will also know that one critical unsolved problem will bear his name until it’s solved. I recommend, that whichever president fixes electric power be given the opportunity to forever bear the same name with electricity in Nigeria and be forever immortalized in the lips and minds of Nigerians.

The same for every future identified problem. A similar approach should be taken to the state levels. Whatever problem we align and identify must be instantly changed to the name of the Governor. If the issue in Lagos for example was Transportation and assuming the Governor was Fashola, then by now, people should be saying
“Fashola is getting better in Lagos now”, or
” I entered one wrong fashola and they collected my phone and laptop.” or
“Big Fashola (BRT) is actually making life easy for Lagosians”.

We can identify the states one by one and identify the problems that need to be solved and replaced with their name.

My people say that whatever hurts one, must be primary in one’s conversation -

“Oun to ba duni lo n po loro eni”

Fundamental Human Rice & Other Stories

Have you heard that President UMYAwn has started distributing the 10 billion Naira Rice Development Fund established by the Federal Government as part of his efforts in ensuring the Fundamental Human Rice of Nigerians as enshrined in the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria?

The money is to be made available to rice farmers in Nigeria to empower them 'offset the deficit of over two million tonnes currently being imported annually; boost local production; create employment and conserve the nation’s foreign reserve.’

I know that the price of a bag of imported rice has gone up but even at that the price of the local rice (ofada/abakaliki) is still double that of the imported one. By simple economics, the local rice farmers must be making a killing.

If you have ever wanted to collect your own share of the National Cake, this is your best chance. Did I mention that being a card-carrying member of the 'biggest party in Africa -PDP would help greatly?

Rating The Navy
It appears that the Nigerian Navy is going through some troubled waters in recent times. Its ratings in the opinion of most Nigerians would be at an all time low by now. And this is all due to the activities of its Ratings.

After six Naval Ratings beat up Uzoma Okere for not leaving the road for their oga last week, another set of two Naval Ratings again went on rampage in Ota, Ogun State this time leaving one policeman dead and another in hospital after a scuffle over a girlfriend.

Our people say that when a drum wants to tear, it starts sounding high notes.

Is Obama A Blackman?
This question was asked by Mr. Bisi Ojediran, a columnist with ThisDay Newspaper. But it was really a question I had asked myself during the events immediately preceding and since November 4th 2008. In the article, the writer argues that President-elect Obama is more the product of his 'white' upbringing than his Africanness.

Personally, I believe that the world did not seem to recognize nor appreciate enough the contributions of two 'white' women in the molding and making of the man who becomes the next President of the US - his mother and grand-mother. It appears that people give too much credit to the largely absent parent in this configuration - the Kenyan father.

My Kenyan friends argue that the father contributed the genes (the dominant Y in this case) and you could see the Africanness in his skin color, his respect for elders (he never insulted McCain even in the face of extreme provocation. OK, maybe he tasi Sarah Palin once or twice but na she start am; he no be her mate) and you could see the self-assured cockiness of the Luo in him.

We must also not forget that he spent a few years in Indonesia which would have rubbed off him one way or the other. Don't also forget Michelle, she's been working at him for 16 years now!

I think its a continuation of the Nature-Nurture Controversy that has been on for centuries now. I believe it all contributed to making the unique individual we have come to know.

What do you think? Is Obama a Blackman?

E No Make Sense 2

After going through the comments on my last post, I went straight Solomonsydelle's and as usual she had laid out all the topics I wanted to rant about in an orderly fashion. Almost in alphabetical order. LOL.

Now everybody knows that I am a serious person. Well, at least you know, abi? I am not one to trivialize a serious issue particularly one that involves lives and reputations of people, right?

But sometimes, some things dont just make sense to me so I ask questions maybe I can deduce something therefrom. I arrange things into some kind of sequence and try to extract logic from that.

I have always said that I am not as bright as I look, so please bear with me.

Take for instance:

1. THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING AIRCRAFT (Quote. Unquote. Solomonsydelle)

Now, walk with me through this:

James Onanefe Ibori, former Governor of Delta state is on trial for corruption and embezzlement while in office. He is reputed to have purchased practically everything purchasable between Asaba and Jo'burg and also in the USA. Including a Beechcraft plane among other crafts.

Over two weeks ago, the said Beechcraft plane (we were told) went off radar on a routine flight to Cross Rivers state to pick up the Governor Liyel Imoke who was going to Abuja to appear before the House Committee probing the expenditure of over $16 billion in five years by the last government of which he was a part, severally as Technical Adviser, Special Adviser, Head Technical Action Committee and Minister of Power and Steel. In short sha, the plane disappeared.

About twenty-four hours later, the Minister for Aviation as the competent Minister, announced that the wreckage of the crashed plane had been found by some villagers near Obudu, Cross River state and they were deploying emergency rescue teams to the site of the crash.

About twenty four hours later, the Ministry of Aviation retracted this story, saying that the Minister was misled into believing that the said crash site was of the plane in question. So, the plane did not crash, then what happened?

Several speculations, most plausible of which include:
- The plane strayed off-course and crashed in the deep rain forest jungles of Obudu far from civilization.
- The plane strayed off-course and crashed somewhere along the Nigeria-Cameroun border or in the Cameroun Mountains. Also, far from civilization.
- The plane strayed off-course and into Cameroun's security zone and was shot down by the Cameroun military forces.

Please note that all these speculations are going on in Nigeria in the 21st century! All the above would have made sense but for the following:

- If the said site reported by the villagers was not of the plane, then what happened there? Villagers are not stupid people. They were probably looking forward to a bounty or reward of some kind. Something must have happened at that site for them to call attention to it. There was probably a wreckage of something. What was it? A truck? Another plane? If so, which plane? What happened to it? When did it crash? How and why didn't the Ministry know about it?
- If the plane crashed in the forests, someone would have seen or heard it drop. A plane cannot crash without a noise. Even villagers know the difference between a plane in flight and one in distress. At least they know the sound of a crash and I dont think could have crashed without a sound. No matter how small it is, it is still bigger than most SUV.
- The most ludicrous is the one that the Cameroun military shot down the plane. In the first plane, it was a civilian plane and the Camerounians could see that. At worst, they would force it to land using military planes to guide it. Even if they shot it down in error, they are bound by conventions to report it. And even if they refused to do so, the Nigerian Intelligence Service has enough operatives on ground inside Cameroun to ferret out such information.

(OK, you probably did not know that the NIS exists right?)

Even if all the above can be explained away.

The plane had three crew members including the pilot on board. Nigerians all. Those guys are/were the breadwinners of their respective families and two weeks after they disappeared, no one from their families had gone to press with some story or the other. Omo eni ku, san ju omo eni so'nu lo.
We worry more over a lost child than a dead one. At least in death there is a certainty of the child's condition.

With the Nigerian's legendary penchant for theatrics, we have not had Professional Mourners Clubs paying daily pilgrimages to their respective homes to offer their condolences, real and imagined.

Are the crew of that Beechcraft plane dead or alive?

What exactly was that Beechcraft plane carrying? What was its cargo?

As if all that was not enough, just last weekend, James Onanefe Ibori, owner of the said Beechcraft plane - who had been known (actually thought) to be an Obasanjo acolyte and was actually very instrumental in the emergence of President UMYA as PDP candidate- was in a gathering that included Atiku Abubakar, former Vice President and Obasanjo's nemesis among other politicians at an event largely organized to dishonor Obasanjo.

He laughed like no man's business. He did not look like someone who'd just lost a plane.

Maybe its just me but e no make sense.

E no make sense at all.

The House That Iwu Built.....

.... is crumbling like a pack of cards.

On Saturday, it was (Senate President) David Mark, then (Governor) Theodore Orji. There had been several before them.

Is (President) UMYA next?

Today is 'Super Tuesday' in Nigeria, when the Tribunal will speak on the Presidential Elections.

I know Solomonsydelle will have something to say about this. Let me go read.