Monday, December 24, 2007

Port Harcourt, Calabar & Matters Arising

So I was in Port Harcourt for the ECK African Seminar. It was a blast. There were so many people even Port Harcourt knew something was happening. There was a heavy police presence in the city and around the Temple for the period, I guess because of the number of foreigners at the Seminar.

The roads between Lagos and Benin were nothing to write home about as usual and we spent about sixteen hours on the road. As I couldn't see myself putting down fifty thousand Naira per head for a flight to and from PH by Virgin or Arik Air, I had to use ABC Transport. N50K for a flight within Nigeria is sheer exploitation! Luckily the PH Airport would be opened by last week.

When the current Minister of Transport Dr. Allison-Maduekwe inspected the roads some time ago, the woman was shocked at the state of the road. One cant blame her, she always had Shell helicopters and chartered flights and never really needed to travel by road all along. But she did the civilized thing. She apologized.

Fani-Kayode would probably have cussed us out for complaining about bad roads. Mr. Fix-It of Uromi, who as Minister, collected money for the roads used it to fix other things but the roads. He is yet to apologize. Or be prosecuted. I hope the EFCC will get to that case someday.

From PH, we moved to Calabar. Now thats a city that really knows how to enjoy the holidays. You probably heard of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' but in Calabar - and indeed the whole Cross River State- there are THIRTY days of Christmas starting from the first of December all through to the end of the year. This city lives up to its name - Come And Live And Be At Rest.

Calabar combines the ancient and the modern. If you want to celebrate Christmas in its rustic form (as we used to know it), come to Calabar for nostalgia. Even if you are very modernistic, still come.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stay beyond two days as I had to hurry back to Lagos for a meeting on Thursday. The meeting portend some good changes in the new year though that remains to be seen.

ARISTO UPDATE: I took Solomonsydelle's suggestion with thanks, and advised my friend Aristo, to take his wife to South Africa for the hols and buy her the biggest rock he could find there. While we were at it, I slipped him the address of my cousin who is a Diamond Broker with De Beers of South Africa. Of course he made the sale. And I get my cut.

What?! Why are you rolling your eyes? Its called Consultancy.

Besides, am I not just being my brothers' keeper?

Happy holidays, y'all!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

ECK African Seminar 2007

The ECK African Seminar will be holding this weekend from Friday 14th to Sunday 16th December 2007 at the Temple of ECK, Obi Wali (Temple) Road, Rumuigbo, Port Harcourt, Nigeria. ECKists (members of ECKANKAR) from about sixteen African countries as well as the US and EU will be there.

The theme of the seminar is 'Discover The Secret Wisdom of Dreams' and the featured speaker is Mike DeLuca who will represent Sri Harold Klemp. There will be many other speakers during the course of the weekend too.

So, if any of you guys happen to be in PH during this weekend, why not pop in at the Temple, learn one or two new things and who knows, we may get to meet. (Just put your nose in the air and 'smell' (thats what you do with the nose, right?) for the bespectacled guy wearing Davidoff Cool Water).

To get to the Temple no hard at all. From any where in PH, call a cab (or bike) and just say 'Temple!'. There is only one.

I look forward to seeing ya face in da place! (Been a long time since I used that)

OK. Please, please do come! You will?. Oh, Thank you.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Re: Why Women Cheat ...

This is a rant directly inspired by da Queen QoMC of the same title and my comment on it. You would notice that my comment had little or nothing to do with the post; it was just something on my mind at the time.

I have this friend who I call 'Aristo'. You guessed why; he's almost always in UNILAG! We both had our postgraduate studies in UNILAG about five years ago and at that time we did the Moremi-New Hall-Tinubu rounds together even though he was married then and I was not. (OK. Blame me for aiding and abetting but hear me out first)

We finished PG since 2002 and the last time I was in UNILAG was for a meeting (I swear) but Aristo no gree leave UNILAG o! Every year he's there running one course or the other and he's lucky he's got a stature that belies his age. After almost a decade of married life, he still looks like he's just out of school. He's got a good wife, three beautiful children and a very good job. He should be happy, right?

Aristo always has a program in UNILAG and he specializes in final year babes so that most times he breaks up with them when they graduate and go on youth service. He never hits the same department or faculty twice in a row and so far he's not been caught in his game. He introduced a babe to me last year as his fiancee and she was smiling like a christmas goat. I pitied her.

Every year he sends his family abroad for holidays or just for the fun of it and that gives him room to play the 'bachelor' game. If you visit him at home during this time, you would never believe he was ever married. Sometimes, the 'fiancee' even comes to stay a weekend or two.

Last week the bubble burst. Ironically, it was not over a UNILAG babe but a LASU babe. Stupid Girl came over to his house and his wife was there but she probably thought the wife was a rival too, so she stayed to claim her 'territory''. The wife, who is usually quiet to a fault actually allowed Stupid Girl to stay in her sitting room till late! Aristo called me at about 11 pm at night to give me the whole gist. He was afraid to go home. Guess where he was.

I told him I could not back him up because whatever I do then will have a direct bearing on my relationship with his family. We agreed that he would come clean and we would do the 'crisis management' thingy.

The Wife called me the next day, as per the usual Afenifere to tell me her plight and I really couldn't but sympathize with her as she cried. These were the thoughts running through my mind

1. When her husband hits the gym, what did she think? That he's doing it for her? Men, more than anything, suffer from inertia. It is only the promise of some serious money (as in professional sportsmen) or the promise of some serious pussy that would make a man hit the gym. If any man tells you otherwise ....

2. When her husband dresses up for lectures in the latest hip-hop fashion, does she know why? He wears them so as to 'blend' better on campus. It is is the first law of the Predator, blend as much as possible with your environment. There are some clothes my wife would not allow me to wear now. She wont even discuss it, she would simply run a scissors through them, by 'accident'. Its happened before I assure you. And I learn fast.

3. When her husband goes for his never ending 'lectures' on campus, what did she think? If I want to run any course now, I actually have to apply to my wife first before applying to the school. In fact she is my Educational Counselor and Course Adviser.

Then it gets to the point at which she said -between tears- that she was going to get even. When a woman talks like that me I dont doubt her o and I told my friend so. Now he's scared.

He's been asking me what to do ever since and sincerely, me I dont know. He should just keep begging her. Abi, what else can he do?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

What Does My Birthday Mean?

So I went to Rayo's for the first time and there was this post about birthdays there so decided to take the plunge. You guessed right, I am a sucker for these things.

I couldn't format it to appear as it did on the page but the koko of the gist is there (with my comments).


Your Birth date: July 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame. (What's a Type A? Why are you rolling your eyes? I only asked a question)

You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems. (Hmmm)

Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.(Well .....)

You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance. (OK. Maybe)

Your strength: Your bold approach to life

Your weakness: You don't accept help (Who? Me?)

Your power color: Bronze (I thot it was Gold! Duh?)

Your power symbol: Pyramid (??)

Your power month: October (Eziokwu? Tell me true word. October!?)

Anyway, I give them 8 per 10. Dem try small.


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